Naitachal's Loss
by Mistchild
Summary: A fic about how Naitachal felt after losing his first friend ever. Please be kind and R&R.


writer's note: Since this is my very first fanfic I ever wrote and English is not my mother tongue I beg your pardon for any mistakes I eventually made. This fic was inspired by the ending of chapter XXII of the book Castle of Deception by Mercedes Lackey & Josepha Sherman. So all the characters, places and settings belong to them and I would never claim them as my own. I just wondered how Naitachal actually felt being all alone under his black hood... and this is the result. So enjoy and please review.  
  
  
  
Naitachal's Loss  
  
When Kevin started with his music Naitachal sat quietly on a dead tree trunk with his back turned to the others, his hood drawn over his head. He did not want to think about the White Elf, he did not want to remember what he had felt when he had seen his friend fall. Eliathanis, the courageous elf-warrior who had become his first friend ever. But Kevin's music forced the remembrance back into his heart, resistance futile. He sighed ever so lightly under his black hood, hoping the others would not realize his grief. After all he was still a Dark Elf who is supposed to barely feel anything for anybody. In that moment he nearly hated the music he had longed so yearningly for some time ago. He didn't know it could make him so...weak. Yes, that's it, he thought bitterly. Never show weakness at all. That was what he had been brought up to. And now he sat there fighting back his tears. He could not remember if he had ever cried in his long life, he did not even know he was able to do so. It had seemed to him to be genetically impossible for one of his dark race to cry. Such weakness! But then again the picture of Eliathanis came into his mind, how he had rode against the enemy with his golden hair flying behind him to rescue his friends, to rescue him, Naitachal, without caring about himself. He felt an painful sting racing through his heart when realizing what friendship really meant: Giving ones own life for those one loves. A happier picture came into his mind and he heard again Eliathanis' gentle words of apology, saw his pale skin blushing once more in embarrassment when admitting he had been wrong with judging Naitachal so hastily. And then Naitachal saw Eliathanis with numberless arrows sticking in his dead body, feeling its weight again in his arms and the desperate hope that his friend might have survived his deadly ride. And he remembered the moment so clearly when he had realized that Eliathanis was gone and would never again smile at him in friendship. Silent tears ran down the slender cheeks of the Dark Elf. He wanted to slap himself right in the face. A Dark Elf crying...who had ever heard of something like that? But he just couldn't stand his feelings any longer. When the music stopped he felt a painful silence sinking down on the camp. He took a deep breath. His breast felt as if bound with heavy iron chains. "There is no time for this", he said making his voice sounding more fiercely than he actually wanted to so the others wouldn't hear it trembling. "There never is!" he heard Lydia responding. The Dark Elf stiffened by the tone of her voice that gave a painful sting into his heart. For a short moment he was sure to lose his famous elvish self-control. But the moment passed and feeling an infinite exhaustion he wearily asked with his quiet voice: "Does it always hurt like this?" "Always!" he heard Lydia saying and than after a short while adding: "What, have you never lost a friend before?" Naitachal glared bitterly at her hoping she wouldn't notice his tear-wet cheeks shimmering in the dim light of the fire. "Have you forgotten who and what I am? I have never had a friend before." Realizing that felt so bitter Naitachal had nearly sobbed aloud. He heard Kevin saying softly: "But you have some now." But the Dark Elf was too much stuck in his grief to draw any comfort from those words. Instead he pulled his hood savagely forward, hiding his face once more. Never show weakness! a voice shouted in his head. "I intend to sleep" he said shortly feeling so tired at once. "I advise you to do the same." He could nearly feel how Lydia and Kevin were changing knowing glances and a hot wave of embarrassment rose in his mind. He made himself ready to defend himself for his irrational, childish behavior as he considered it to be. But then Lydia said: "He's got a point." and a little later and more softly: "Kevin, for the music and all that, I...Ah hell. What I'm trying to say is, thank you." Naitachal shuddered faintly and driven by some inner force he did not quite understand he murmured quietly: "So am I." As the others had long fallen asleep Naitachal still was wide awake. His thoughts where too heavy to let his mind climb up to the light realm of dreams. He mused a long time lying alone in the Darkness he was so familiar with. As he finally fell into releasing sleep, tears ran down his somber cheeks for he dreamt of his lost friend Eliathanis. 


End file.
